NINE SAD YEARS

It's nine years ago today that my brother left us. I'm always torn between this day and March 24th (the day he was found in his home in North Hollywood). But, in either case, he had a full life even though it only lasted 54 years. This is the time of night when I miss him most, since this is usually when we'd be in the midst of one of our 4 hour phone calls. At these times, I put on The Last Carnival and think about that wonderfully wild life he lived. Whether you knew him or not, it gives you a pretty good sense of the man, and why he's so greatly missed:


Sundown, sundown
They're taking all the tents down
Where have you gone my handsome Billy?

Sundown, sundown
The carnival trains' leavin' town
Where are you now my darlin' Billy?

We won't be dancing together on the high wire
Facing the lions with you at my side anymore
We won't be breathin' the smoke and the fire
On the midway

Hangin' from the trapeze my wrists waitin' for your wrists
Two daredevils high up on the wall of death
You throwin' the knife that lands inches from my heart
Sundown

Moonrise, moonrise
The light that was in your eyes
Has gone away

Daybreak, daybreak
The thing in you that made me ache
Has gone to stay
We'll be riding the train without you tonight
The train that keeps on movin'
Its black smoke scorching the evening sky
A million stars shining above us like every soul livin' and dead
Has been gathered together by a God to sing a hymn over your bones

Sundown, sundown
Empty are the fairgrounds
Where are you now my handsome Billy?